Cover Up Young Lady, Your Hypocrisy is Showing
There are a multitude of norms in modernity that I find challenging, counterintuitive or just plain wrong. There is none that rivals the concept of cancel culture and “de-platforming” someone when they espouse a point of view that you happen to find reprehensible. It seems to me that people have completely forgotten how easy it is to be wrong, how often they are wrong, and perhaps, how often they are VERY wrong. The experience of being human humbles all of us repeatedly, but there’s something about our current culture of social media and constant gratification that has apparently led to the widespread digestion of the idea that being right is of utmost importance and we must tear down all who might not hold our ideas.
Back when I was in college (about 10 years ago, yikes), I distinctly remember numerous occasions where I would engage in debate about particular topics with people on my hall, or in my fraternity, or in class, or at the bar. We weren’t always sober, but frankly, I always had fun. I left the conversations with things to think about and sometimes people who I genuinely cared about really tore into me. But we didn’t hate each other afterwards! We were just trying to learn and that often led to a reckoning with my own values which could lead to growth. What is the difference between these kinds of interactions and the current cesspool that is twitter? Love. The answer is love. When you disagree with someone you care about, even on something that is contentious, painful, or “close to home,” you still try to listen to what they have to say and you may gain some insight into why they hold that belief.
I tend to think that many, many more minds are changed about critical topics (including hot button social justice issues), when they are approached with love, and not finger pointing. If you are patient with the person, and see that they are not evil, but more than likely misguided, the counterpart may just walk into the light. A great example of this is the gay rights movement. While some may not recognize it, the amount of progress that has been made in this arena is truly substantial. I have been an out and proud gay man for about twelve years. If you were to compare the general social environment of today to that of 2008, the change is truly drastic. But that change did not come from #KillAllTerfs #KillAllMen #FuckingHomophobe #Fascist #Nazi. It came from out LGB people telling their stories, and taking the people that they love with them. With some time and love, so many people came to accept our community and understood our similarities, not our differences. That has fostered growth and change.
Another outstanding example of lovingly disagreeing with someone is the story of Megan Phelps-Roper. This woman grew up in the Westboro Baptist Church which is essentially a radical fundamentalist Christian community. Her now husband took the time to disagree with her over twitter lovingly. He answered her questions and pointed holes in her arguments where he saw them. HE DID NOT CALL HER NAMES. He recognized where she had come from and saw her. And so she changed. She could not continue to believe the lies she had been told as a little girl any longer and now speaks out against such ideologies. Do you think this would have occurred without love? Do you think the previous hashtags and screaming directed her way were effective?
Lastly, I just want to briefly point out how quick people on the internet are to judge when they are often guilty of the very thing they are finger pointing about. I can’t even list the number of elites in society who love to play the woke game all over the internet, but I can recall racist jokes they made just years ago. Oppositely, how many gay congressman are there who have been intensely LGBTQ at this point? I’ve lost count. Either way, before logging onto the internet to defecate on people you don’t know in the name of “justice,” remember what I said above. You’re likely not changing anyone’s mind. After being demeaned and yelled at, people get radicalized and angry, they don’t admit defeat. When people are seen, and respected, that’s where the magic happens. Stop yelling at each other, and start being more loving.
